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Tips on writing and delivering a eulogy

A eulogy is a speech of remembrance typically given at a funeral or memorial service to pay tribute to someone who has died.

How Long should a Eulogy be ?

A eulogy is usually between 5 and 10 minutes long. As you write your eulogy, plan to spend at least an hour writing and editing it, allow sufficient time to practice reading it aloud. It is a good idea to consult with family members and friends of the deceased in order to collect additional information and details to include in the eulogy, as well as gathering your own thoughts.  

What to Include in a Eulogy?

A eulogy can include anecdotes, accomplishments, favourite quotes, any details that help paint a picture of the personality of the deceased. The eulogy you write might also include: 

  • A brief recounting of their life story 
  • Insights into their relationships with family and close friends 
  • Career milestones and accomplishments, achievements related to personal goals, interests, or hobbies
  • Favourite sayings, musical taste, special interests

Also consider your relationship with this person: 

  • When did you first meet them? 
  • What will you miss most about them? 
  • What is your favourite memory of them? 
  • How did they change your life for the better?  

Tips on delivering the eulogy

To help calm any nerves you may have, take a few deep breaths before you start, breathe in and out a couple of times to compose yourself. If you feel the need to take more deep breaths during the eulogy, that is completely appropriate, use your breath to also help slow down your speech and connect with the audience.

 As well as your eulogy notes you should have some tissues and a drink of water to hand. Taking occasional sips of water will help to calm you and give you time to collect yourself and your thoughts if you find yourself getting emotional.

Memorise the eulogy

Public speaking does not come naturally to most people. Memorising the eulogy will help you express yourself with greater confidence, allowing you to maintain your flow of speech even if you momentarily lose your place in your notes. This will allow you to maintain eye contact with your audience rather than being focused on your written notes throughout the eulogy. Organise your eulogy into three distinct sections, introduction, main speech, and conclusion, and utilise bullet points as needed.

Take your time

Although you may have received guidance regarding the duration for delivering the eulogy, it is advisable not to focus excessively on this aspect. Your primary purpose is to share cherished memories and pay tribute to the life of the deceased person. Allowing yourself sufficient time to deliver your chosen words will help make a meaningful connection with the audience, thereby enhancing their appreciation of your words. 

 Should you ever feel anxious or fearful regarding your delivery, know that deceased  would be proud of you in addressing the audience to share cherished memories and stories of their life. Most importantly, keep in mind that the audience understands the challenges of delivering a eulogy, and no one is judging your public speaking skills.

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